Thursday, 10 March 2016

How long does it take?

I saw someone recently who mentioned that it had taken him a long time to finally step into this world. Though it had been part of his psyche since he was a child. That’s a story I hear a lot and have had many conversations regarding this over the years. He almost apologised for taking so long to come see me. I sometimes joke with people about how long it has taken them to contact me. So far I think the record has been 6 years it has taken one person to finally make the move to step into their desires and contact me. 

Even though I joke, I totally understand why it takes someone so long to finally make the move. I’m not an impulsive person myself and take ages over making a decision, weighing up the pros and cons and making sure the decision I’ve made is the best one. So not only do I understand, I empathise. Sometimes it can be crippling to make a huge decision.

Sometimes you need to just go with your immediate gut reaction. However, for lots of people this is not possible, and certainly with something that’s as important to people as this can be, homework and research can certainly pay off. Therefore, I have no trouble with people taking their time, researching and pondering. I even enjoy hearing how someone has read my blog for years with yearnings to come see me and just out of the blue an opportunity has arisen to do so. These sessions are always good. The person feels they know me quite well as they’ve followed me and my adventures on my blog. Even though they are strangers to me, it makes me feel more at ease when I know someone has devoured my blog, feels they get me, and wants to get to know me a bit better. 

I’ve never been drawn to people who find themselves free of an afternoon and look about to see who is available to session with and has a pulse. It happens, and some people are happy to do things this way, but it’s not for me. I love that there is anticipation, that it’s been thought about, felt about and dissected many times over in their head before arriving at my door. There is so much cerebral stuff to play with there. So much excitement and anticipation to use as a catalyst for deeper feelings and reactions. Have I mentioned before how much of a reaction junkie I am? It’s one addiction I’m quite happy to live with. 

So in conclusion, I don't care how long it takes you to finally approach me. As long as you’ve done your research and you feel we might have a mutually enjoyable experience I’m up for discussing it further.  

Lady Annisa


  1. I've enjoyed your thoughts on this Lady Annisa. I've been pondering the apparent contradiction between being someone who is generally risk-averse by nature, but who nevertheless seeks actively to step into a situation in which the risks can't be quantified in advance - and in fact that lack of foreknowledge is part of the appeal. Which is where the homework comes in, I agree - which wouldn't be possible without something like this blog to absorb and consider. As a reader for some time, I always enjoy your reflections on what successfully connects you and your penitents - submission of the body is one thing, but submission of the mind, especially if it is the result of a choice and a commitment not made lightly or casually but thoughtfully, perhaps offers greater mutual reward and interest.

    1. Firstly, I must apologise to yourself and other commenters on my blogs, I have only just realised I had comments waiting to be approved. I was sure I had disabled that feature so that all comments were posted without me having to approve. So here I am smiling reading all the comments I had missed!

      I'm also someone who is fascinated by the contradiction of being risk averse in general and feeling drawn to something out of our comfort zone. I read the book 'feel the fear and do it anyway' years ago and the take home I got from that is the fear never goes away, we might conquer that particular fear or challenge but then we move forward and find a new one. And that's how we grow.....happy growing!

    2. Thanks for your reply Lady Annisa... I shall have to get that book!