Sunday, 26 April 2015

Living in the moment.

How often do you do it?

This has come up in conversation quite a few times for me lately and honestly there is a kink connection, you just have to be patient.

I've had a few sessions lately with an NLP coach. If you don't know what it is go google. I had been chatting with a friend about an issue I have with my running, not a physical one, just a mental block with distances. So she mentioned that she thought I would benefit from some NLP sessions.

Oddly enough, for no other reason other than being more out and open in my personal life, in the spur of the moment when he asked me my occupation I just opened my mouth and Professional Dominatrix came out. Not something I've divulged much over the years to those not the closest to me but as everything is evolution, I'm finding that I have had a certain liberation in telling some people I know exactly what it is I do. It's been very well accepted I have to say but I'm heading off in the wrong direction so let me bring this back to the NLP session.

Afterwards he mentioned that when putting someone deep into trance you cannot help but go there somewhat yourself. He felt I had gone quite deeply in as he himself felt quite floaty and spacey too. For someone with no kink knowledge he quite insightfully mentioned how people who come to see me for the likes of bondage or sensory deprivation it must be quite trance like. So we then had a discussion about what people get out of bondage etc, and again he mentioned about it being one of the very few times that people would get to switch off their minds, that constant chatter, the constant to-do list and that constant negative self talk that most people do. He understood the benefits of an hour or two in bondage where you don't have anything else to think about other than enjoying this very moment, this very sensation, this very feeling.

He apologised to me for the doorbell ringing twice while I was in session. I never noticed once never mind twice. I know I was very much living in that moment but choosing what I wanted to be aware of, the zoning out in fact. I've often said that when I session I am aware of the first track on my playlist and then the last. No other music in between mostly. So I'm beginning to wonder if what he says is true. That when I go into session, especially when it's something I'm deeply focusing on, I almost get into a spacey zone and live only in that moment with my submissive or slave. It certainly feels like that often when the session is over. I feel chilled out and a bit blissed. The kind of way some people get with a massage but I don't really rate that kind of switching off. I'm always still too aware of my surroundings, comings and goings in the spa, doors opening and closing etc. I'm now wondering if my chambers is more beneficial to me than the chaps who come to see me....:) Perhaps you guys should get paid the tribute...:)

So it's given me food for thought about this switching off malarky. I tend to be quite busy with my session even though I choose to work only 3 days a week. It means that I get to switch off and recharge with other stuff on the other 4 days. I have so many interests and hobbies I could easily fill 7 days but then I'd miss my kink fix too much and my blissed out feeling. So for the time being I will continue to chill out during sessions and go have mini adventures on my days off!

I wasn't actually sure which image to put with this blog until I found this screen shot of Elise during our medical bondage session. I think she looks on her way to being blissed out on pain!

So what's it for you? Do you get spacey, do you switch off totally or are you still trying to second guess what's coming next? Comment and let me know, I'd be interested.

Lady Annisa


  1. As someone who meditates, I find immersive bondage to be similar to a meditative state. In thinking about it, I probably couldn't do heavy bondage without being in that state. A slow build up allows me to slide into it. In my experience, my senses are all *super*-sharp, however they are very "short range" - every sound, smell and feeling is magnified but only within a very small sphere around me. Everything outside of that bubble is non-existent.

    Incidentally, I've had a couple of sessions of hypnotherapy, but on each occasion I failed to descend into the state that I was expecting, i.e. that which I can achieve with my own meditation. So it was disappointing from that point of view, though it did achieve its overall aim :-)

  2. I've talked often about NLP and other related techniques with someone close to me who is a practitioner. It's fascinating how little we understand of ourselves. It's possible to live a lifetime without examining our own inner lives at all, let alone finding ways to still the mental maelstrom, whether by meditation or putting ourselves in the hands of another with the skills to bring us to the quiet moment. There are many ways, I'm sure - I do not meditate, but I also have the experience of this as a by-product of pure focus in a task. It's interesting that some people describe it as a "zone" - a place, stationary - and others as eg "flow" (though I'm not a rapper) - which works better for me as a description of the state because it reflects movement, progression, and narrative rather than stillness. That sense of a journey is still there even in the "zone", and the sensory richness as my brain registers it in that moment is part of that movement. Perhaps that's why they call it a "trip"...

    1. In the flow is definitely a way I'd describe my 'by-passer' feelings I get when in session and getting to be the orchestrator of heavy bondage or latex. I can feel quite floaty with it and no doubt my outside life reaps the benefits.

    2. I was re-reading this Lady Annisa, and was minded to suggest, if you ever have time to blog about it, that it would be fascinating to read about how *you* like to feel in session - what characterises your moments of flow, or stillness, or purpose? Are there any common characteristics of sessions that are satisfying for you?

  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

    1. Ahh the link didn't work. Lets try again.

    2. Still not working properly but I'm sure you all know how to copy and paste....don't you???