Monday, 27 October 2014

How do you want to feel?

It’s a strange question, and one you’ve probably never been asked in the context of kink/fetish/D/s. For most of my Pro-Domming career I’ve asked people about the activities they are interested in as well as how they identify themselves. This has obviously given me an insight into compatibility. However as time goes on I've come to realise that a better question to ask is how you want to feel? 

When I've explored with people disappointments from the past, it always boiled down to not feeling how they wanted or envisaged. 

So I’ll ask again how do you want to feel?

How do you want to feel before a session, during a session and after a session. Do you want to feel vulnerable? scared? calm? high? relaxed? humiliated? controlled? degraded? release (emotional)? open? free? liberated? nurtured? restrained? brave? heroic? connected?

For me, in session I want to feel connected, energised, creative and entertained.

This underpin can where we start and then our mutual interests can be added in to create our session time. This is a collaborative process. Giving over complete control is a process of collaborating in your own submission/masochism/fetish.

Lady Annisa
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  1. I've been looking back over your earlier posts Lady Annisa and this is one that stuck in my mind, as it made me realise how unexpectedly difficult I found this as a question. Perhaps it's a function of maleness, but when I first read this post and thought about what my theoretical response would be, I couldn't get to one or even a few one-word answers, even with your list to crib from. Thinking more about it now, I wonder if that's either because I didn't know what I would want to feel - or that I even wanted that decision to be taken from me. Of course my mind and body would be complicit on some level, but rather I wouldn't want it to be a conscious choice of mine how I felt. The flip-side of that though, is knowing your "wishlist" surely helps those who visit you to understand and entertain you better - so I can see that your subjects not being able to answer your question is no use to you!

    1. Ahh, now this is interesting. I obviously am well aware that people want to give up control when they come to see me and a lot of that control is around decision making. However, I hadn't considered that even deciding how you want to feel may be something someone would rather hand over control of. I've always considered that at a base level everything we do is motivated by chasing a feeling, so perhaps the feeling some would want to chose is not to even chose the feeling....oh now I'm getting myself tied up in knots so to speak, ha! I shall have to give this more thought. Thanks again for your 'thought provoking' comments...:)

    2. I suppose, looking back again, there probably is a short answer to this after all - which is "powerless"! I do have a tendency to over-complicate, it seems...

  2. Given the flogger you are holding in that photograph surely the only answer can be: punished, brutalized, and extremely sore ... Just as well, you'll probably reply!