When I get an application that mentions they are not the typical type of submissive my heart sinks somewhat. For what is the typical submissive? Certainly I've never met a typical submissive. I've come to notice certain personality traits. However, they are just a rough generalisation, not an absolute, it could never be an absolute. The above statement is usually accompanied by an insight into why the person does not see themselves as the typical kind of submissive I see.
They go on to further explain that they are very dominant in their vanilla life, they don't like to be treated like a worm, don't think they could crawl on the floor and be treated like something less than human. The statement is usually always made loaded with negative assumptions, which I'm sure I don't need to point out.
My heart sinks for a few reasons. One being that the person typing said statement has just insulted not only me but every person whom I engage with in my premises. They insult every experience I've had and every memory I've made. I've yet to session in a headspace or an environment that lends itself to that kind of scenario. My sessions are not typical. My submissives are not typical, my masochists are not typical and my medfet enthusiasts are not typical. I've yet to come across anyone who wants to be a worm and crawl on the floor being treated like dirt on the sole of my shoe. I don't deny these people exist, but let me just say from my experience, they are few and far between. That is a stereotype rolled out every time the media wants to portray a classic image of a submissive man (for it always is a man!) I admit I'm not sure the reason I don't see many of these types of people in general. Is it because they don't really exist, or is it that my website is not one that attracts said individuals? I'm very conscious of what is said in my website, how it's a reflection of me, who I am, what I'm attracted to and what I stand for. This is the second reason I get insulted by the aforementioned comments. It shows that the person in question has not read my site properly. Surely if you take the time to read my site and my blogs, you would get an impression of what makes me tick. Superficial fawning and sycophantic behaviour is not welcome nor encouraged.
I really then have to conclude that if someone feels that way about the 'typical' submissive then they have issues of their own. They are projecting onto a perceived stereotype the disdain they feel for the submissive side of their own personality. A side that they have yet to come to terms with and have certainly not embraced. Guilt can also play a part, though that will be very individual. Personally I think that guilt has no place in our sexuality when it's expressed between consenting adults. However, everyone is on their own personal journey, and if someone needs to work through their own guilt to get to a place where they feel they can be happy with themselves then who am I to shove them along the path sooner than they need!
I guess what I'm saying is, if you've got negative feelings about your sexuality then best to work them out first before trying to engage with anyone to get your needs met. Otherwise you're going to end up with more negative feelings piled on top of what you're already dealing with.
And on a lighter note.....
Here is a fabby view from my weekend. Who says the weather in Scotland is pants??
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