Sunday, 13 November 2011

Roleplay again, this time with an idiot!

I've written a bit about roleplay recently but it would appear that I've not been terribly clear. So I'm going to dig deeper into my thoughts as well as trying to understand the psyche of others. Though I suspect I'm on a hiding to nothing with that one! This is going to be a long rant, get yourself a full fat, fully loaded, fully caffeinated coffee, or switch off now if you're feeling under the weather and not up for listening to me putting the world to right!

I've always been extremely reluctant to give time, energy, web space and too much thought to the idiots that approach a Professional Domme with a view to wasting our time. I like to spend my time on the people who come to me, the ones who engage on my level and the ones who I get a huge buzz out of seeing. I'm of the opinion that you reap what you sow and giving time to negative influences can just lead to more negativity. However, sometimes those thoughts have to be put aside when there is something much bigger than what goes on in my head at work here. I've never been a fan of blogs that constantly deride the people who contact us, never liked reading websites where the Mistress slags off time wasters, I know they deserve it, but again I think negativity breeds negativity. However, needs must and I have to just get on my soapbox about this one in particular.

So, getting back to roleplay. As I've said in the past I'm not a fan of structured roleplay and only indulge with 3 people who are fabulous to session with, who totally allow me free reign on what we do, the ideas and the outcomes. I decided long ago this was the only way to go for me after having a rather strange experience with someone who had a roleplay scenario in mind. This was something I agreed to, though I did tell him that I would vary the script slightly as to play it exactly how he wanted was for one a bit unrealistic and dangerous, and two a bit boring for me given the said scenario. The day arrives, the roleplay is played out, he goes home apparently happy. I reflect on what was involved and what could have been better or improved on. When I get his feedback he complained about a number of things. These are as follows.

1. He complained there was no cigar involved, despite the fact he said he liked the thought of menthol cigarettes or cigar smoking. So I went with the menthol cigs.......I'm not sure I've got the butch look for a good old Cuban!

2. He complained that only leather restraints were used and not rope bondage, specifically shibari.....has anyone ever managed shibari ropework on another person who is struggling in a take down situation?....I know I'm good but good god I'd need 4 pairs of hands for that! Or even better the six pairs of Goddess Shaki would just about do it!

3. He complained that metal cuffs were not used despite the fact he had said he only liked leather or rope bondage, no metal!! I've yet to come across metal cuffs that are not actually made of metal.

4. He had mentioned that he liked to be gagged with an inflatable gag. I used various gags on him throughout the scene moving up to larger and larger gags with the intention of using the inflatable one last. He brought the scene to an end before the inflatable gag was used. He gave me the agreed information that meant the scene was brought to an end. Therefore I never had the opportunity to use said gag. I guess I should have done everything in the agreed roleplay within the first 5 minutes to be assured that I managed to fit it all in! bad again!

5. And lastly he complained that I used a knife in my take-down scenario and not a gun!! be fair he has a point, I don't have a gun and it's probably just as well I don't, I'd be tempted to use it today on this particular knobwank!

After giving him my thoughts on all of this he then asked for another session which I refused. However, it seems he is a determined little bugger and has contacted me at least once every 6 months in those 4 years, albeit with a different name and email address, but with the same scripted scenario. How thick does he think we are. And when I say we, I mean myself and other Pro-Dommes, as it's come to my attention his name is on some of the Pro-Dommes websites in Scotland as being a bit of a time waster.

Back to present day and in the recent past I've had a contact via my website from someone who was into various things, all sounding reasonably interesting but nowhere in there was roleplay. We chat back and forward via email, again no mention of roleplay. We then chat on the phone, again no mention of roleplay. You can see where this is going surely? Anyway, he pays his deposit we arrange a session time and that's all that needs to be done until the day of the session. However, I then get an email just yesterday regarding the session tomorrow. He wants to just add some information regarding a suggested scenario that he feels too inarticulate to mention on the phone. There in the email was at least 3 pages worth of a roleplay scenario with every aspect micro managed even down to how I should wear my hair. To say I was rather surprised is an understatement, given he had never once mentioned about a roleplay scenario. I write to him and tell him I'm not interested in his scenario, it's too scripted and even if I was to be interested, to leave it until the 11th hour to spring it on me is just downright rude. I'm not interested in any roleplay under these circumstances and we should cancel. I tell him I will return his deposit if this roleplay is that important to him then he should see someone else.

I heard nothing back from him. I then decided to do a little bit more reading of said scenario and realised this all sounds very familiar. Down to the inflatable gag, the menthol cigarettes, the interrogation, the gun for the take down.......everything. Seriously, what the hell kind of drugs is this man on? Ok before I go off on a rant let me just start to analyze what's gone on and what the implications are.

If things had gone ahead, does he seriously think I will not recognise him as the idiot I had in my chambers 4 years ago? I know some people forget names/faces, but I have a very visual memory, would he be happy to take the chance?

How much does having your needs/fantasy met mean to someone that they are happy to deceive someone else to that degree?

How unhealthy must your fixation on a roleplay or fetish for that matter have to be for you to be unconcerned about how freaked or uncomfortable you are willing to make the other participants? This is the stuff of psychopaths. They have no conscience and decide in the grand scheme of things that the ends justify the means.

If someone has said they do not want to session with you, they do not want to engage with you and would you please stop texting and emailing, why would you keep trying to reinvent your personas to try to do just that? Why would you want to be in the personal space of someone who really, really, really does not want you there? What in your psyche lets you ignore all of that just to get your needs met?

Tonight my dear reader I'm quite flummoxed by all these questions and have no answers. However as well as that, I'm quite angry. Angry that this person thinks his needs are more important than any undesired negative emotions he has instigated by all of this.

As I've said, I'm not into doing a name and shame type blog. However, if any other Pro Domme wants the names, email addresses and telephone numbers used by this individual then feel free to email me and I'll pass on his details......gladly!


  1. Lady Annisa-

    Hilarious, when not downright scary.

    Something right out of a Stephen King novel, yes?

    It was humorous enough to read how you'd failed this client the one time you saw him. The repeated attempts, including the last, is truly horrifying, though.

    Like you, I am great with visual memory. What would you have done when you opened the door to see you had been tricked?


  2. Hi saratoga, thanks for your comments. I think I would have been tempted to give him a swift kick to the balls, but I guess he'd probably enjoy that too much anyway!

  3. Reading this I can see why you are so angry and why you felt the need to speak out about it.The man is a muppet and an incredibly self centered and selfish one at that. As saratoga said, hilarious but also scary.

  4. This guy is not actually looking for roleplay, he's looking to direct a production of a scene in his head, which he feels has to be carried out to his orders.
    He's not looking to engage with someone who is very special and shares the passion they have for bdsm.
    Unfortunately his thought pattern is very rigid and not flexible. He's unwilling to share and accept someone else's feelings and emotions and is unable to attach to someone, which is a failure to bond. He could have a borderline Personality Disorder. But he is someone that should be kept at a distance and not engaged with as he could not be trusted.