Sunday, 11 September 2011

Welcome back?

This might well end up a bit of a meandering blog, but hey it's my prerogative!

Deciding to session with someone is not just as quick and easy as someone getting in touch, and me giving them a time and place, though some think that is all the effort required. There is quite a bit of effort required on both sides. From the subs point of view, I want to know that he has researched properly and decided that our interests not only match but our idea of Female Dominance match. Whether I agree is another matter, but at least there is some evidence that there has been a thought process to this. All well and good. I also need to know they have realistic expectations of what a session, or even what a long term serving arrangement could bring to both of our lives. Some people really have only the notion of here and now and fulfilling a need for instant gratification. I would find these encounters empty so I'm not that interested in interacting with someone on that level. The effort on my part is to establish if we will have a rapport, if we are well suited, if I think we will both have fun, and if I can realistically engage with someone to produce an experience that we will both enjoy. The best way I've found of looking at it is, this is what I enjoy, if you think you'd like to be part of that then you're welcome to approach me.

Given all of that, there are a huge number of people I turn down. The reasons are as long as your arm, but the main ones are that they have given no thought to my selection process, not read my sites, not bothered to take in what I've written on those sites, I get the impression they just want to session with anyone (a pulse is all that some require!) or that we are just not suited to sessioning. Occasionally I will ask someone why they decided to contact me in particular, this is to clarify that they have identified me as someone different who they can see the appeal of and not just that I happen to be the only one with an amazingly equipped premises in a large city. This all takes time and a fair amount of dialogue. Nobody expecting to see me within a few days of contact is ever going to be content with my selection process, and glad of that I am too!

By the time we get to actually sessioning there has been a bit of a rapport built up and also a telephone chat. Prior to each session, like most good Pro-Dommes, I take time to clarify issues like hard limits, a health questionnaire, and marks. I'm glad to say by the time we get into the chambers, I've got a fair idea of what makes someone tick and know how to make the time he serves me an enjoyable time for us both. I've put in the effort, he has put in some effort, and now he has to continue that with that effort engaging with me on a different level. Hopefully we end up with a mind blowing experience.

Afterwards I ask people to write to me in a few days giving me some feedback on the session. Don't misunderstand this, I'm not looking to get lots of praise and ego stroking, nor is it an opportunity for the sub to tell me what he wants next time, more of this, less of that etc. I've found that some people don't like to give feedback as they perceive it as being critical. I view it totally differently. I find it invaluable. I'm sure most good Pro-Dommes do too. There have been times when someone has come along with an idea in their head about a certain aspect of kink, say cross dressing, only to find in session that it did not quite do it for them any more but the humiliation aspect was the biggest turn on for them. This gives me a hugely insight into how that relationship can develop and where I can go with the kinks that I enjoy.

With this in mind, if I ask someone for feedback and they don't bother to give it, then in a nutshell they are never welcome back. I find it a totally selfish attitude. Almost like...well I've had my kink itch scratched, no need to engage with you any further! I am of the opinion that I put a huge amount of effort into each session. It is a custom made, bespoke experience sometimes lasting far longer than we had booked for, with time for pre and post session chats. If you cannot appreciate that effort then you are not welcome to share my space.


  1. It would be a very foolish man who does not recognize the intellect and discernment that you put into selecting a submissive to share this mind blowing experience with. He would actually be a very privileged man indeed.
    If he took the time to truely understand why and who he was submitting to, he would be aware of the loving Female Aurthority that he is interacting with.
    Failure to do this, he is missing the submissive fulfillment that he so desires.
    Its not about looking inward and getting your own fantasies and desires fulfilled but truely submitting to this wonderful Lady in a selfless manner, is serving her and focusing on her desires, will bring the submissive fulfillment that he has been seeking.
    Mistress is a wonderful Lady, if you look to strenghten the relationship that you have been so lucky to experience, then your going to experience an unbelievable experience and if you get to enjoy what She enjoys, then you'll be a very happy submissive indeed, just as I am.

    1. Reading over this blog again reminds me that my feelings regarding feedback still stand. I often ask people to give me a progress report on how their wounds are healing too. Medical sessions really need this feedback and update to ensure that everything is as it should be and things have returned to normal. No feedback, no return!