Thursday, 7 July 2011

What's in a Review.

I've recently had 2 new reviews done of session I've had, both on external Mistress boards. Over the years I've had around 6 external reviews done. The latest one is here if you'd like to read it. On all but one occasion, each of the posters sent me the review beforehand and asked if I wanted to change anything.

I have to say, I find this a bizarre concept. I'm always grateful if anyone wants to write a review, and even more so if that review is favourable. The reason for that is not the obvious one of drumming up business (as the only full time Mistress in Edinburgh with any sort of presence, I really have no need to drum up business in that sense). The main reason is that I'm always more than happy for someone to convey my style of sessioning in a different way from what has already been said on my website. This is in the hope that the people who I really want to session with, those that will really get my style, those that really understand my take on Female Dominance as well as my humour, and those that will make me excited about seeing them will be drawn to contact me. Conversely, I hope that those who need something different don't waste any of their time and energy making contact when we really are not suited in the slightest.

So given all of that, why would I want to change anything that's been written about me? The review is surely a personal take on a personal experience, and I have no right to edit that into something that is more appealing to me or the reader of the review. At best it's fiction, at worst it's deceitful. Even if I wrote a review of the same session both of our experiences are going to be different, what we feel, the journey we took and the final destination are all influenced by our own personalities, past experiences and personal kinks. Bring on the reviews I say, but lets keep them real!


  1. I was one of those reviewers and feel it is inappropriate to to submit a review without feedback from the Mistress for a number of reasons:

    - I usually appreciate feedback but also knowing about it. In my professional life, I have clients that comment on how a specific project went and usually I will have a decent idea about what was discussed before feedback is given to my boss. Any lack of this feedback particularly when negative means that I could have performed differently had I known about it at the time the problem occurred and coulkd at least have defended/justified my actions.

    - The feedback is public but having met you I know some things about you that you may wish to remain private. Ie. I could include subtle hints to the location of the business, your identity etc.

    - Some elements of BDSM are under a somewhat odd legal umbrella. I am the amateur, the enthusiast and something I may write may cause the interest of our legal system. You are the professional and are surely more aware of any legal issues. I assume you will stay clear of risking trespassing these boundaries but a review may not correctly reflect this (after all it may be written from the point of someone who was blindfolded and bound) Having first dips on the review gives you a chance to correct anything that is factually not right.

    - I am a submissive. My self perception of submission does not mean that I have no right to an opinion, yet it means that any relationship depends on the submissive considering the dominants emotions and feedback. I see my purpose as a submissive to make my partners life enjoyable. I might not have enjoyed a part of the session but this may mean that I have not understood you. Getting feedback on the feedback would allow me to reflect on the way I perceived you. Some part may no have been enjoyable for me but might have been important to move the scene in a way that it worked overall or rather to understand why we may not have clicked instead of just saying ot was all rubbish.


  2. Thank you Aziraphale for your comments. Some of the points you made I hadn't thought of, especially the one considering the Mistress' privacy which is very important to me so I'd be keen to make sure that was not compromised. Also the legal aspect. It's easy to forget that others are not as aware of those imlications as I am given it's my day to day life. Thanks again for your comments, they certainly enlightened me.