Sunday, 25 July 2010

Activity V's Control

I'm often asked what is my favourite activity. I'm always at a loss to think of what to reply. I love lots of things, from rope bondage, to medical play, to OTK spanking. However, it's not that I find it so difficult to determine what is my absolute favourite. It's more to do with the fact that the dynamic, control, power, and power transferance is what I'm most interested in. Seeing someones eyes when they acknowledge their submission, and acknowledge your control is a sublime moment. My Dominance is made up of many of these moments. I see it when I have someone in the gynae chair all bandaged up, when all I can see is their eyes, and they communicate with me so well. I know it sounds cliched, which is why I'm reluctant to write about it somewhat, but I get asked so often this vital question. Sessions that are activity led can be restricing and repetitive. Give me someone who knows what their limits are, then leaves the rest up to me and I'm in heaven. I want first to establish our connection, not worry how I'm going to fit in the practicalities of his list of must have activities.

I find that there are 3 main types of player.

1. Someone who wants to session and submit to an activity.
2. Someone who wants to session and submit to a fetish.
3. Someone who wants to session and submit to me, me as a person, me as a whole individual. Not me, the fantasy they have in their head about how a Mistress should look, act or dress.

Number 3 is always the kind of person I like to develop a dynamic with. I'm willing to give a lot of who I am in session, just as long as they are willing to do the same for me.


  1. Both number 1 and two are far too structured for me. The only way to really give up total control is number 3. Having said that I would surely have to have some agreement on limitations before doing so.

  2. Absolutely, communication is the key...always.

  3. I enjoyed re-reading this very clear and concise post. It seems to me that when the connection is there, the actual activity might almost be irrelevant in that moment. The issue of limits changing over time is an interesting one - as is whether our limits are where we think they are - but that's where the communication comes into it I suppose!